sreda, 01. avgust 2012

Baka Goes To Japan

I'm really looking for it. Troubles. It started in Busan. I'm so fucking clever that I don't want to listen to people's advices. When I bought the ferry ticket I just told the guy that I already know everything concerning schedules and so on and went drinking on the roof. Sure that boarding starts at 7.30PM I came (already drunk) at the gate at 7.40 to find the hall empty and the gate closed. 7.30 is the boarding closing time. Luck was on my side since the employees haven't left home yet and in a split second everyone, including customs officers, was back at their job. They also called the ship that an idiot has yet to board. Not to mention how embarrassing it was, the worst had to came. The duty free shop was already closed. No smokes, no alcohol. I mean the cheap ones. Will have to buy them at Japanese prices. Urgh. At least the ferry saved me some money - I bought smokes from a vending machine with duty free prices and without age verification. Drawback - it accepted only coins so I was buying lots of snacks from another vending machine that accepted bills and returned me coins. Which gave birth to another trouble. Since I had no more beer I opened the 1.8 litre bottle of soju and went to the smoking room where I woke up at 4 in the morning and after surprisingly little effort found my cabin and had two hours of decent sleep. Hangovered as hell I went through the Japanese immigration in a blink, just couldn't believe it, then got stuck at customs. Literally stuck. I have no other words for the woman working there so I'll call her a bitch. Because that is what she is. A mean skinny bitch. I do know what are the duties of customs officers. I was prepared to give up on my kimchi smuggling attempt. But she didn't give a shit about my kimchi, soju and other Korean food and drinks. No, she spotted the Japanese snacks. Fucking suspicious. How come you have Japanese snacks with you? Didn't you just arrive in Japan today? Well, my lady, it happens that the ferry is Japanese so they sell Japanese stuff on it. Really? Why they sell Japanese snacks on the ferry?
I was speechless. I looked her straight in the eyes, searching for any sign that she was making fun of me, that she was trying to piss me off, whatever, but no. She was on it for real. And I didn't know what to answer. I really don't know how to explain why on Japanese ships they sell Japanese snacks. So I stayed silent but she was not giving up. She really wanted an answer. She demanded it. I felt sort of like I was waiting for Godot and I told her that I suppose that a Japanese ship is loaded with snacks in Japan, not in Korea. Nice shot, she was happy with the answer. Next she wanted to know when I left Slovenia. One year ago, more or less. And where is the stamp in your passport that will prove it? Huh? What? I have not a single stamp from Slovenia in my passport, only Japanese, Korean and from Hong Kong! Saying that I fly from Italy would equal to another hour of idiotism with her so I went with the EU zone shit, no borders and the like. Lucky again. Why do you stay in Korea? Easy one, I practiced this lie a lot so it came naturally to say that I have a Korean girlfriend. And why do you go to Nagasaki? Easy again, I go to visit a friend. BANG. The bitch doesn't know the difference between a friend and a GIRLfriend. I saw her turning from her emotionless to an icicle. So you travel between them all the time? Hell no, you got it wrong, lady, it's not what you think, I have a MALE friend in Nagasaki and... Too late. She already decided that I'm a male pig, and a gaijin on top of that. And we repeated the routine. When did you leave Slovenia? When will you go back to Slovenia? What is your occupation? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Where do they live? Can I check again your bag? On and on and again. She didn't bother to check my reservation in Akari. No, she really jaust wanted to make my life miserable. And she was good at it for something like 20 minutes or more. She would probably go on for more, but it happened that in this time all the Cammelia passengers went through the customs on the other gate, I was the fucking last one, hostage of the bitch. She noticed it too and finally let me free.
Few hours later I was in Nagasaki, really hot, first stop was the liquor shop, next door to the hostel. Sixpack of Kirin, then yelling into the Akari reception, HELLO, THE DRUNKARD IS BACK. Joke wasted, nobody at the reception. But they did hear me, Tomoko and Kaz were in the kitchen. Kaz also wasted my sixpack joke, he welcomed me with cold beer from the fridge. Dag san, welcome back, we have many beers for you and the day after tomorrow we will have a party for you!
More beer, soju, umeshu,  a visit to Kentaro's place and there I blacked out. Last thing I remember is me drinking beer at Kentaro's, next is somebody shaking me. I open my eyes and I see the street. Actually the first thing I saw were the streetcar rails. I was sleeping on them. And a police officer was waking me up. I have no clue where I was, but for sure I got lost after leaving Kentaro's bar. And at some point decided to take a nap in the middle of the street. Baka. The policemen were really nice. Their English was really poor, but they did their best and they actually gave me lift to the Akari in exchange to check my documents. They even apologized for bothering me with ID check. When they wished me oyasumi I bowed really deeply and fell on my face. It was 4 AM and it was a call for a beer on the Baka Bridge.

1 komentar:

  1. This is becoming juicy,you should renew your visa more often :))