ponedeljek, 06. februar 2012

Otaku life

I hurried to Japan to be back home today. Today is the 대보름 (Daeboreum), celebrating the first full moon of the lunar year. It's something of a Spring Festival - which is hard to believe if you listen to the weather forecast. Actually, Spring already started on Saturday, on 입춘 (Ipchun) and, amazingly, the temperatures were a little bit above zero. For this week in Gangwon do they are expected to fall to 20 below. Today the first snowflakes appeared here around lunchtime but it was a false alarm. I have a strong feeling that the white crap will cover everything during the night.
I saw also some sunshine on Saturday when I went to Busan to board the ferry for Japan. Like always I boarded with a bag of beers to fight the boredom of a night on the ship, having no idea in what fun it will end. I already froze my ass drinking a bottle of beer on the roof of the ferry terminal, so I choose to drink the next in the smoking room on the ferry. And I almost choked myself when a pretty girl approached me. Not for the fact that she approached me, but for what she asked me.
"Hi! Are you Korean?"
How the hell did she know? Oh, she was just joking, she laughed heartily and asked me if I speak Japanese. Ah well, another situation when I bitterly regret for being so dumb at Asian languages. And then she told me that I look like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribean. I can only guess that was a compliment. After some small talk she introduced me her boyfriend and that sucked big time. (No, not him, a pleasant guy, just the fact that she has a boyfriend...) And after more small talk and more large beers she introduced me her sister. Single. Which made big time. And it went even better when after some jokes on my drinking I said yopparai des. "But you can speak Japanese!"
No, not really, I know just a few words that I picked here and there in Japan and watching anime.
"You like anime?"
No denying this time. Yes, I'm an otaku. "Sugoi!" chirped the sisters in chorus. "And which is your favourite anime?"
Easy question, was, is and always will be Evangelion! "Sugoi!!" I almost saw the double exclamation mark. "Mine too!" explained the older sister.
"Chincha?" I was already so drunk that I started talking in Korean. The next moment I was taking of my clothes, the girls looked somehow worried, but only till the moment I stayed in my Rei t-shirt - they just wanted to take some pictures of a crazy otaku in his Evangelion underwear. It's how they put it, I really don't have Evangelion underpants. It seems a nice idea, though.
It's not hard to guess what came next. A drunken chorus (oh yes, in the meantime we were joined by two Korean otakus) singing, shouting, grunting and squealing Zankoku na tenshi no teze... and the ferry hasn't left Busan yet!

"And what is your second favourite anime?" Deddoman Wandarando. "Sugoi!"
"The third? The third!" Higurashi no Naku Koro ni. "Sugoi!"
As for what went on later I'm a bit confused. I do remember talking about Tokunoshima and singing (sic!) Shima uta and I remember being a translator from Korean to Japanese and vice-versa. I was also invited for some homemade miso soup next time I will be travelling in Japan.
I woke up in Japan with a monstrous hangover and a painful stiff neck - I just hate those bricks that serve as pillows on the ships. The Immigration made no problems on my statement that I'm just on a visa run and the Customs officer took his time to check minutely all my stuff, stinky socks included. Funny thing, I clearly remember that just the same guy did the same three months ago. He just doesn't like me.
Three hours to wait. A short walk in the neighborhood and a check in the nearby park to see how my homeless friends are doing. There was only one, still sleeping, using a cat as a blanket.

Way to cold outside, back to the ferry terminal. I took my textbooks with me - to do my homework in Japan! Don't you agree that it's a bit stupid, ironic, crazy etc to do Korean exercises in Fukuoka? Well, I like it.

Before boarding I couldn't resist to take a picture of a warning in the Duty Free Shop. It's not engrish by definition but it's a good lesson in how to complicate the simple act of stealing.

I slept almost all the way back to Korea and had enough good sense to choose a queue with a woman Immigration officer. Yes, I did it out of a sexist reasoning. Because women are more nosy. When guys go through my passport they keep asking where do I go, what will I do, when will I do.. but all they want to know is WHY. And they never ask it. Because of that they feel miserable. But they have Power and they take revenge on me, making my life miserable. And actually there's another reason that has nothing to do with sexism but with racism. Koreans can be racist bastards and it's more probable to meet a male racist than a female one.
The girl - clearly I choose a pretty one - asked me immediately. "You are going to Japan every three months for one day and the rest of the time you are in Korea. You can't work legally so WHY are you doing this?"
At which I made an embarrassed and shy face and almost whispered "I have a girlfriend in Korea". She maintained a professional expression, but I saw the corners of her mouth bending upwards. "Is this your girlfriend?" she asked and pointed at the address of Sang Pyeong that I wrote as my address in Korea. "Oh no," I replied as I was in total shock, "we are not married, we don't live together! This is my friends' house, they live in the same village." And all her professionalism was gone, replaced by a broad smile.
"Welcome to Korea."
Fuck the karma if for being honest you get kicked in the ass.

2 komentarja:

  1. It's okay! Karma doesn't care about that, as long as you're honest with PEOPLE!

    Also, I hate you.

  2. It's the prerogative of cool people to be hated by lesser beings... ;-)